Department of Chemistry/Physics/Astronomy

What are the medical elements? (Ans: Helium, Curium and Barium - Because if you can't Helium or Curium you Barium.)

What is the molecule CH₂O? (Ans: Sea water)

If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you have? (Ans: A mole of molasses)

What is the dullest element: (Ans: Bohrium)

What is the name of the compound Ba(Na)₂? (Ans: Banana)

How many guacs in guacamole? (Ans: Avocados number)

What is the name of the molecule Bunny-O-Bunny (Ans: Ether Bunny)

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist? (Ans: Let me atom.)

Where does bad light end up? (Ans: In a prism.)

How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
(Ans: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.)

How many half-life's does a radioactive cat have? (Ans: 18)

What does a quantum duck say? (Ans: quark quark quark)

What did a uranium atom say to the other uranium atom? (Ans: Gotta split!)

There has been too much action in reaction to political scandals. Please write to your congressman to repeal Newton's third law.

If it’s green, it’s BIOLOGY
If it stinks, it’s CHEMISTRY.
If it doesn’t work, it’s PHYSICS.
If it works, but no one knows why, it’s ENGINEERING

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